This looks like a match made in comedy-heaven: Judd Apatow (Cinemascope’s Man of the Year), Robert Smigel (Triumph, the insult comic dog) and Adam Sandler teamed up to write a movie that doesn’t only sound silly, it reads as utter nonsense: You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. Picking up where Borat left off they mash Hebrew and Gibberish into the story of an ex-Mossad agent leaving his secret identity behind to try to find peace and quiet in New York City. A bunch of Israeli bumheads then come to his rescue when his cover is blown.

Cinemascope got hold of several pages from the screenplay for the movie that is currently being shot, with many Israeli actors in supporting roles.

Sample dialog (about Chelsea Clinton):

Yitzhak: Are you crazy? I liked Chelsea.
Everyone: I would sex Chelsea!
Aharon: She is hot. With the hair.
Oori: You seen these legs.
Yossi: You can fit a marshmallow in between the thighs.

The pages from the screenplay are after the jump.

Scene 53. Zohan (Sandler) walks into a 14th street electronics shop:

adam sandler's You Don't Mess With the Zohan screenplay


Scene 158. The Israeli gang rush to Zohan’s aid in a mover’s truck, while talking politics and getting obscene about first-ladies and first-daughters: