This is precious stuff. Nicolas Cage is suing Kathleen Turner for defamation, libel and slander, after she revealed in her brand new memoir how obnoxious he was to work with on “Peggy Sue Got Married”. I’d sue both of them for how irritating it was to watch “Peggy Sue Got Married”.

Here’s the paragraph that sent Cage through the roof and into his lawyer’s office, in which Turner claims Cage was a drunken dog-thief:

He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He’d come across a chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.

On the last night of filming, he came into my trailer after he’d clearly been drinking heavily. He fell on his knees and asked if I could ever forgive him. I said, “Not right now. I have a scene to shoot. Excuse me,” and just walked out.

Nicolas didn’t manage to kill the film, but he didn’t add a lot to it, either. For years, whenever I saw him, he’d apologize for his behaviour. I’d say: “Look, I’m way over it.” But I haven’t pursued the idea of working with him again.

But hey, he was the director’s nephew so all was forgiven. And if I were Nic Cage I’d rent “Serial Mom” before pursuing the case in court.

An excerpt from “Send Yourself Roses”, Turner’s memoir, is available here.