Cinemascope

Twilight this, twilight that. Everybody’s buzzing ’bout Twilight and I’m completely lost. OK, I get it: the Stephanie Meyer’s books are huge best sellers among teen girls. And there’s a movie coming out, that has now settled in the November 21st slot previously occupied by “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” (ooooh… I smell a turf war between occult obsessed teen boys and teen girls brewing on the horizon).

I’ve first stumbled upon the “Twilight” craze back in April when the movie was still in principal photography and Slashfilm noted that anything “Twilight” related on the internet is sky-rocketing. I then stumbled upon Stephanie Meyer’s own blog and was amused to see an author keeping what looks like a fan-site for her own work. She’s more psyched about the movie then anyone. And then came Comic-con. And now the released dated moving forward. Is it all only empty buzz or is thee something substantial here?

Teen girls in Hollywood are a coveted demographic that turned “Titanic” into a mega-hit and turned “Across the Universe” from a bomb to a minor cult hit. So what will “Twilight” be? The next “Titanic” or the next “Across the Universe”? My guess is the latter: we’re in for a stinker, ravaged by critics, ignored by the masses, but beloved and embraced by 13 year old girls who go in for repeat viewings. (I actually liked “Across the Universe”, as flawed as it was it had true vision).

There’s another thing: according to IMDb the score is composed by Carter Burwell. Seemingly, good news for me: I think Burwell, who worked on all of the Coen Brothers movies, is one of the last great film composers out there, his tunes and tones are dark, menacing and always unique. But there is “The Carter Curse”. No film Burwell has composed has ever been a hit. Some where adequately successful, but others have tanked miserably. Case in point: “The Alamo”, or lately “In Brugge” and “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead”, both respected and critically admired, but too dark for audiences. In fact, The Coen Brothers biggest hits to date are the only ones where they didn’t use Burwell’s music: “No Country For Old Men” and “O Brother Where Art Thou”. Check out his filmography: he wrote some really great scores, but every time he was associated with a big Hollywood production that was supposed to be a blockbuster, the movie underperformed. Remember “Mystery Alaska”? “A Knight’s Tale”? “Simone”? “What Planet Are You From”? Is “Twilight” the next in line on that list? (I’m not saying it’s his fault, just constant bad luck and movies that were too dark to appeal to a mass audience). I think none of his films ever broke the 100 million dollars mark. Not even when you had Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts together in “Conspiracy Theory” (one of my all-time favorite soundtracks).

But… I maybe wrong.

Apart from Kristen Stewart, who was wonderful in “Into the Wild” (check out that one, tween girls) the only other name I know on the “Twilight” credit roll is director Catherine Hardwicke, and girls - she’s a terrible director. You have three movies she previously made to prove my point - “13″, “Lords of Dogtown” and “The Nativity Story”. See those films and faint: this is the person who is going to turn your precious books into a movie. She’s the un-cool. Let me remind you that “Harry Potter”’s success as a movie wasn’t only due the success of the first book but it also had a director with bona-fide hits on his hands, and a studio that has experience making a film into a global media event. “Twilight” has a sub-par director and a brand new studio (”Summit”) whose marketing abilities are unknown. I promise: If my preliminary notions will turn out false after seeing the movie, I’ll be the first to retract them.

Photo via The LA Times

I’ll admit, being something of a “Buffy” and “Angel” fan, and a vampire aficionado, the premise for “Twilight” seems intriguing: it sounds like “Mean Girls” with vampires. But Hardwicke’s previous films let out the impression that she’s way too serious, arty and realism-oriented to handle something that should delicately balance dark themes with a fresh tongue-in-cheek attitude. She’s no Joss Whedon.

But I’ll have to wait and see if this is the “Snakes on a Plane” for girls: maximum buzz, minimum business. Until then, if you are “Twilight” fans, help me out here: what are you looking forward to seeing in the movie that will thrill you, and what do you fear the movie will do that may ruin the experience for you?