Cinemascope

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

The global village has never been tinier. Matt Harding, a video game designer from Connecticut who worked in Australia and now lives in Seattle, shot this video in 42 countries in 14 months, and recruited Palbasha Siddique a 17 year old Minneapolis singer who was born in Bangladesh for the original soundtrack.
Erik Lundegaard has already tagged his 4 minutes short “The Best Movie of 2008″. On You-Tube it was watched 10 million times since it was uploaded on June 20th. And who is Matt? What were his previous videos? And where is he right now?

(The title to this post is a tip to Tasha and Dishka who danced stupidly in front of 23 million You Tube viewers).

I just watched (belatedly) HBO’s riveting “Recount” - a primer in US mob politics - when I heard Tim Russert died of an apparent heart attack at the age of 58. Russert appears in several archive footage shots, most importantly the one where Joe Lieberman, appearing on “Meet the Press”, fumbles Gore’s recount efforts.
Russert was not the first. Two and a half weeks ago Sydney Pollack died, two days after “Recount”’s premiere. Pollack was the designated director for “Recount” but handed the job over to Jay Roach due to his illness (Dave Grusin, Pollack’s regular composer, remains the only testament to Pollack’s early involvement). “Recount” is produced by Mirage - the production company co-owned by Pollack and Anthony Minghella. Minghella died prematurely a year ago. Maybe that election was indeed cursed.

If you saw “Recount” you should see this: in 2002, two years after Bush-Gore election debacle, Spike Lee directed a breathtaking and heart quickening documentary about the same story - and did it in 10 minutes. The segment is called “We Wuz Robbed” (it’s included in the anthology movie “10 Minutes Older: The Trumpet“), I show it to my students every semester, it is a true masterpiece of documentary storytelling and political filmmaking told in breakneck speed:

In May 2006, exactly two years ago, film distributors in Israel decided to wage war on local movie critics. They wanted to stop critics and magazines from running reviews on opening weekends, claiming that bad reviews are hurting their box office business and that journalists should give movies at least 3 days grace period and run the reviews on the Sunday following opening weekend. Trying to reason with the distributors, and telling them that in the age of broadband internet you can read the review of any movie online weeks before it’s premiere fell flat on tin ears. When asked what is the logic behind such a move, when the film business is moving into the globalization mode of day-and-date release and marketing, a distributor proxy said “we will turn the clock backwards”. Meaning that modern film practices, in exhibition and distribution, mean nothing to those banning Israeli distributors (indeed, they are also the last to employ digital projection in Israel).

Most distributors folded their ban within 2-3 months, some did so after the studios they represent heard of it and went ballistic. But two major distributors are adamant with their ban, and are at it for two years now. They are the distributors that represent Disney, 20th Century Fox, Sony, Miramax, New Line and The Weinstein Company.

Indeed, some blockbusters don’t need any reviews to succeed. “Enchanted”, for instance, was released in Israel without any press coverage and did just fine. But Paul Thomas Anderson’s “There Will Be Blood” was idiotically released without reviews and did poorly.

“Deadline Hollywood” blogger Nikki Finke wrote about this moronic ban a year ago here and here. Variety’s Ali Jaafar wrote about the ban almost n real time. Even David Poland commented on it.

Israeli distributors are also Israel’s movie chain owners - with two companies controlling most of the screens and titles in what may seem as a virtual cartel (though no evidence to an actual cartel was ever substantiated) - so their hold on the film business is tight. There is no one to tell them what to do. The banning distribution company, Forum Film - a family business operating since the 1940’s - also has some gentleman’s club clout with major Hollywood business, with whom they deal for decades and who obviously look away.

But apart from not letting movie critics do their job properly - writing a review in a print paper or online, has a lot to do with the timing of the publishing as it does the content of the writing - this ban elucidates the impotence of most newspaper editors who are willing to see their critics banned from screening (or worse: letting their critics attend preview screening and promising the distributor they would wait the weekend before running the review) just not to hurt their chances of getting a roundtable interview in a junket with the big star of an upcoming blockbuster.

It also shows how much of an ego power-trip this entire ban is. Because not only are reviews (indeed in English, and not in Hebrew) available online - on movie blogs and sites such as Variety - a week before a film’s release, but online critics in Israel could easily buy a ticket to see the morning show of a new movie (films are released here on Thursdays) and have a review up by noon, so the ban is actually pointless. (Although I am one the banned critics, both my online blog in Hebrew and my print column has been mostly unaffected by the ban, either by writing on opening day online, after a morning matinée, or writing in print with the aid of screeners sent to me by colleagues abroad. (I have to really not care about a movie to let it slide, as I did with “What Happens in Vegas” yesterday: the movie was released here with zero publicity, no billboards, nothing except a quarter page ad in a newspaper, and I found it not interesting enough to go see it on opening day).

So what’s the point? Ego. Power. Trying to prove they are allnighty, and having the ability to make newspaper publishers kneel in front of them and succomb to their might. And thus they have succeeded.

So in the upcoming summer season Israeli newspaper readers may read a junket interview with Will Smith in one magazine (that’s the way it goes here: if one magazine gets it, the others don’t), but they won’t know what “Hancock” is actually about, or whether it’s any good. And the same goes for Disney/Pixar’s “Wall-E”, and also “Narnia: Prince Caspian” and “Sex and the City”. I will admit that the latter movies will be huge here even without reviews, but superhero movies perform mediocerly at best with the Israeli teens, so no reviews means also almost zero visibility for a major release (last summer “Ratatouille” was huge in Israel but “Spiderman 3″ did poorly, in relation to its worldwide success - both films were banned from critics on opening weekend).

But assisting in the movie’s financial prospects is a side-affect of film reviews. This is, ultimately, another example of  corporations shutting out the media. And because as far as I know they do not manufacture Uranium in Israeli multiplexes it is not done to protect state secrets. Just to show who’s really the boss here. And it’s not the press or the freedom of the press.

The date may sound science fictiony but after scooping 200 million dollars world wide in just three days, Marvel Studios is feeling safe (i.e cocky) to announce the slate of their upcoming superhero movies from here to eternity. er… um… nope, just 2011.

“The Incredible Hulk”: June 13, 2008
“Thor” (Directed by Mathew Vaughn): June 4, 2010
“The First Avenger: Captain America”: May 6, 2011
“The Avengers” (the Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Captain America and Thor supergroup): July 2011
“Ant Man” (directed by Edagar Wright): TBA
“Spiderman 4″: TBA

Asian humorist Nury Vittachi (AKA Mister Jam) wrote a hilarious piece the other day, about the way American movie titles are translated in Chinese by fast-buck hungry distributors, who have little respect for the product they release, and even less respect for their audiences. Although one has to wonder whether some of the titles he writes about actually sound better, or more culturally relevant, in Chinese.

Some of his examples:

- “The Sparrow Becomes the Empress” is “Pretty Woman”
- “Don’t Ask Who I Am” is “The English Patient”
- “This Hit Man Is Not As Cold As He Thought” is “The Professional” (but wait! “The Professional” is the English translation for the original French title “Leon”).
- “Six Naked Pigs” is “The Full Monty”

But more outrageous are the way broad American comedies are translated. After the Success of “Ace Ventura” all of Jim Carrey’s movies afterwards were titles as variations of The Ace (or Trump Card) as if they were spin-offs of the same character, and thus “Cable Guy” has become “Trump Card Specialist” and “Liar Liar” turned into “Trump Card Big Liar”. But this next bit tops it all:

The logic veered off track when the first “Austin Powers” movie was released in East Asia as “Trump Card Big Spy”. It starred Mike Myers rather than Jim Carrey, but distributors apparently thought that the fact that it was a completely different human being was too subtle a difference to worry about. Why be fussy? Deranged white guys are deranged white guys.

All white people look the same to the Chinese, don’t they.

Thing are just as sad funny in Israel

Vittachi’s bit reads like a great piece of cultural humor in the States, but foreign movie-goers can only sigh in identification. Most countries translate American titles, especially those based on localized idioms, into something that rarely resembles the source.

Israeli moviegoers, for instance, went into an uproar last summer when Judd Apatow’s heartfelt adult comedy Knocked Up was translated into “The Date That Screwed Me” in Hebrew. Local distributors were overheard saying that the vulgar, teen oriented title, harmed the movie’s box office in Israel. Later, when posters went up publicizing the release of “Superbad” with the Hebrew title of “Super-Horny” film goers protested and persuaded local distributor to reconsider and order up a new batch of posters, leaving the film with its original English title.

Things in the title-translation world in Israel are so bizarre and outrageous that a Facebook group titled “Deport the Hebrew Movie Titles Translators” was formed - 1441 members joined as of February - in which nearly 200 titles are listed where the Hebrew translation either absurdly distorts the original title or just turns it into a bland or vulgar run-of-the mill title.

Some botched-up Hebrew titles:

The Savages is “Closing the Circle” (or “Closure” if you will)
Evan Almighty is “A Flood of Trouble”
In The Land of Women is “Go Figure Women”
Man About Town is “How To Succeed in Life and Stay Married”
Groundhog Day is “Wake Up Yesterday”
Employee of the Month is “Super Blond”
Are We There Yet? is “Mom is in Love”
The Naked Gun is “The Gun Died Laughing”
George of the Jungle is “The Jungle Died Laughing”
BASEketball is “The Ball Died Laughing” (yup, you guessed it: once one awful title is successful, similar movies will be name-raped in the same manner).

Israelis, one discovers, are nuts for movies with the word “Love” in the title:

Top Gun is “Love in the Sky”
No Reservations is “Love on the Menu”
Swingers is “Love or Sex”
Jesus of Montreal is “Of Love and Hypocrisy”

Metaphors, for instance, are unwelcome on Israeli billboards and marquees.

Denys Arcand’s The Decline of the Western Civilization was named “Dirty Conversations”. His follow up The Barbarian Invasion was named “Soulful Conversations”. Butterfly on a Wheel is “Shattered”, Martian Child is “A World of His Own”, August Rush is “Dancing in the Moonlight”.

And sometimes distributors spit on a what they regard as a piece of art and try with all their might to turn a thoughtful movie into an action thriller. That’s how No Country for Old Men turned up here as “Tough Country”, as if it were a Charles Bronson movie (depressingly, Cormac McCarthy’s novel was translated into Hebrew, while keeping the original title intact, but local distributors didn’t care. And although the Coen Brothers are very much beloved in Israel, the movie, released wide, flopped).

Sometimes Israeli distributors are almost prophetic in their translations:

The Luis Mandoki romantic drama White Palace was translated into “When a Man Loves a Woman” in Hebrew. But then that very same director made the Meg Ryan alcoholic drama, When a Man Loves a Woman forcing local distributor to turn it into “The Love of a Man to a Woman” as to not confuse with the similarly named, though quite different older movie.

Last year, local distribs shortsightedly translated the Richard Gere flick The Hunting Party into “Wanted”. It is still unclear how the upcoming Angelina Jolie actioner, titled Wanted in English, will be named over here.

Sometimes one feels that movie titles in Hebrew are pulled out of a hat, to the enormous amusement of older generation distribs, who are clueless as to how to relate to teens and tweens.

And so The Cell was spiced up into “The Lethal Cell”, Deep Impact is “Lethal Impact”, F/X is “Lethal Stunt”, Poison Ivy is “Lethal Seduction”, Silent Fall is “Lethal Silence”, Soldier is “Lethal Soldier”, and Terminator is “Lethal Mission”.

But Fatal Attraction? That’s “Fateful Courtship”. Damage is “Fateful Attraction”. Total Recall is “Fateful Memory”. Executive Decision is “Fateful Decision”.

The list goes on and on, and sometimes one gets the notion that distributors simply misread (Scarred City turned into “Scared City”) or misunderstood (West Side Story is better known in Israel as “Suburban Story”, even though the story is set-up in midtown Manhattan).

And ironic to the point is parody is the Hebrew title “Lost in Tokyo” which was how Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation was translated. Lost indeed.

Nikki Finke wrote this earlier:

I don’t want to name names, but three longtime Hollywood major players are gravely ill. All represent many years of movie/TV dealmaking and talent relations and industry leadership. Normally, I wouldn’t mention this. But all three are such giants that I figure people will want to be sure to say their goodbyes. The town is in for some sad, sad times.

Any ideas who are the soon to be deceased?

Yesterday one studio head, one former studio head, two producers, two agents and two filmmakers sat on a panel on a stage at the Tel Aviv Cinematheque taking questions from local actors, writers and directors trying to figure out “how to break into Hollywood”. The answers varied from “do something original in your own country and we’ll find you” and “why would you want to come to Hollywood in the first place where you will be abused and robbed of personal style and identity” but quickly enough the discussion turned topical, as the writers’ strike came up, and panel member Brad Silberling (WGA and DGA member argued the case in favor of the writers. Sony chairperson Amy Pascal was not thrilled to hear this, or to absorb the positive vibe his pro-WGA impromptu rally sparked in the room, but gave quite an interesting response - on stage, on the record:
Here’s a transcript of what happened on stage, 41 minutes into the event,
where an AMPTP member and a WGA member sat side by side and thinking Israel
will be a guild-free zone. wrong:

Amy Pascal: We always need fresh talent in Hollywood. By the way, we need writers right now so if there are writers in this room please give me you card.
Arik Kneller, top Israeli agent representing mostly writers and directors,
asks from the audience: Are you serious, or was this a joke?
Amy: Oh, dear. That was a joke. If you write during the strike you’d be
scabs and then you won’t be admitted into the WGA after the strike is over.
Kneller (from the audience): Could you tell us more about the strike.
Amy: Basicaly, the writers want more money, and we don’t want to give it to
them. Must we go into this?
Then in a surprise twist a member of the panel on the other side of the
table takes the mike. This is Brad Silberling (”City of Angels”, “Moonlight
Mile”), WGA and DGA member.
Brad: Actually we do. I don’t want only the studios side to be represented
here. (Here Brad give a quick rundown of the writers’ demands regarding internet residuals. He calls the strike “the perfect storm”, meaning that it’s not only the writers, but also the actors and the directors whose contracts will be up for renewal soon, and the writers were just the first to go, but that come June, SAG and DGA will join them if this is not settled by then).
Amy: Brad is right, this is all about new technologies, it’s all about a new world that none of us understand ,so no one wants to start divvying it up before we know what it means. However it is also true that the writers have been treated like second class citizens in Hollywood forever so their paranoia is justified. And they did make a deal in the past where they didn’t get what they wanted in their cut of the DVD revenue and this is their chance to make up for it. It’s just unfortunate, because even being on the side I’m on I’m also on the other side and it’s a really terrible situation because it’s too soon for this and yet we also know that once we know what this is all about no-one will want to give it up.

The writers are striking, WGA and AMPTP leaders are horn-locked. Wouldn’t it be great if a studio head took the reins into his or her hands? Well, don’t count on Sony’s Amy Pascal to rally the negotiation teams. This time next week Pascal, and husband Bernie Weinraub, will travel half way across the world and spend the weekend in Tel Aviv, where they will meet local filmmakers for a master-class entitled “How to break into Hollywood”. Alongside Pascal on the stage of the Tel Aviv Cinematheque will be ex-Disney chief Nina Jacobson, writer-producer Mark Platt, writer-director Brad Silberling and Oscar winner (but not-Nobel winner) documentarist Davis Guggenheim. Hey, maybe an impromptu negotiations session will ensue. Who knows. (or: hey, they’ll realize their town is ablaze, cancel their pep-talk and stay home, each one on his side of the picket line).
And indeed, foreign filmmakers, how do you break into Hollywood? a) don’t be a writer, or don’t expect to make money out of it; or b) call up Lati Grobman. Scabs are wanted.